Lewis Jetta recently told, on this very website, a story about a rat in the store room at the club. He has told a version, but this is the version that I heard actually happened.

Last week Shane Mumford, Campbell Heath, Sam Reid and Lewis Jetta went into the club late one night to do an extra recovery session. It was about 8pm, no-one else was around, the lights were off and everything was quiet. As they turned on the lights they found a little surprise waiting for them. A rat was loitering around down in the store room.

Before I go on with this story I would like to add that this rat would have been no ordinary rat. Unlike other rats that go around eating cheese and rubbish from bins, this rat would have been on a high performance diet. The food on the floor of the store room would consist mostly of crumbs from protein bars, Powerade and electrolyte powder. For the rest of the story keep in mind that this rat would have been in great physical shape.

So here was the rat, chomping on protein powder, sitting in the middle of the store rooms eyeing off the four boys as they looked back at it. The rat looked at Shane Mumford first... no threat there. He's a good tackler but doesn't have the speed nor the agility to catch it. The rat looked at Campbell and Sam…apparently they were now hiding behind Mumford, so there was no threat there. The rat kept on eating.

Then Lewis Jetta stepped out from behind Shane. The rat stopped eating.

The two stared each other down like Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. The duel was on. A small gust of wind blew and a piece of tumbleweed drifted across the store room. (I'm not sure how tumbleweed gets into the store rooms, but it often appears after Kristin Thornton's jokes.)

The rat made the first move and bolted towards the other end of the store rooms. Jetta took charge. Campbell and Sam ran in the opposite direction to seek refuge, and rumour has it Mumford just went and got a protein bar to eat.

The rat was quick, but Jetta was closing in. The rat made its way towards a cupboard, but Jetta kept on closing. I imagine it would be like watching a cheetah chasing a gazelle, with a Wilderbeast (Mumford) watching from the side eating a protein bar.

Jetta pounced and swung a basket on top of it. SNAP... He had caught it! Then, for some reason the four boys decided to take it home with them so it could be their pet!!!

Now before I go on I'd just like to add that when I was growing up I used to love teenage mutant ninja turtles. As much as I wanted to be Leonardo, at no stage did I ever consider moving to the sewers and living underground, nor did I ever consider having a rat (Splinter) for a friend.

On with the story. So after the boys finished their recovery session, Donatello, Michaelangelo, Raphael and Leonardo drove home together with their new housemate "Splinter" sitting inside two baskets taped together. They housed it with a blanket, and fed it two square meals of bread, with some biscuits after dinner. The foursome had become a fivesome.

It wasn't long before common sense kicked in and they came to terms with the fact that they're not actually the teenage mutant ninja turtles, and that their rat isn't a wise ninja master, but just a common filthy rodent.

The rat was released at a nearby park to little fanfare, and the four teenage mutant ninja turtles have been reminded of the positives of having a gold fish as a pet, as opposed to a rat powered by protein powder and biscuits.